Things My Mom Said: Volume 2
Princess Kate edition
It’s early Friday evening and I’ve just dragged myself up the stairs and into my bedroom to change into my dog walking clothes after a long week of work and my phone rings. I don’t even have to look to know it’s my mom. I am 49 years old and she tracks my location.
ME: “Hi mom.”
MOM: “Well I’ve just been so heartbroken all afternoon. Those poor children.”
Of course I know that she is talking about the Friday afternoon video heard around the world, but because this is such a draconian reaction and because I can tell that she is actually hoping I haven’t seen the news and she can breathlessly share it with me, I say,
ME: “What do you mean?”
MOM: “Well Kate and this horrible diagnosis. I mean, you probably know so much more about this than me [because of my close relationship with Kensington Palace?"] but I think it’s colon cancer, don’t you?”
Hmmm.
ME: “I don’t know mom, they haven’t said.”
MOM: “Well it must be because at 41, she’s too young to be screened for that unless there’s a family history.”
My mother makes about a dozen diagnoses a day. Currently she is observing my dad closely for signs of muscular dystrophy. This, after a long standing theory that he is in the early stages of Parkinson’s. Also, I think Kate is 42.
ME: “I think they said it’s preventatively chemotherapy though - like she doesn’t actually have cancer. [Not that it’s remotely any of our business]”
MOM: “Well of course she does. And it’s not good. I just keep thinking about C [my former boss who was much older than Kate when diagnosed with colon cancer and fought it for two decades before her death] and I’ve been really upset all afternoon.”
Silence.
ME: “Well mom I just got home from work and I sort of need to go to the bathroom and change my clothes-”
MOM: “Aren’t you overdue for your mammogram?”
ME: “Nope, I just had my six month check last month, remember? They think everything is fine. I have just one more six month checkup and then back to a year.”
MOM: “Right, but what about your annual physical?”
ME: “That was last Friday.”
MOM: “And?”
ME: “And what? All fine.”
MOM: Okay, but I hope they are checking everything, you just never know with the way healthcare is going these days. I need you to keep me updated on all of this because you’re not that young anymore and you just have to be so careful. That’s why I have groceries delivered - there’s just so much sickness and awfulness out there [at the Publix in Delray Beach?]”
Here we go.
ME: “Okay mom, I will.”
Whiplash pivot.
MOM: "So what are you making your wonderful husband for dinner?”
ME: “Mom, you know he’s the dinner maker.”
MOM: “Well it wouldn’t kill you to make him dinner every now and again. Men like to be taken care of. He would probably like to sit and relax and watch the game [What game? Also, he doesn’t watch sports.] after a long week of work.”
I accept defeat and settle in. The conversation rolls along as I change my clothes, walk the dogs, text my daughters about their Friday night plans, and finally (finally!) get dumped by my mom because it’s time for her to serve my dad dinner while he watches the game.
And with that, I pour a glass of wine and call my best friend to ask her what kind of cancer she thinks it is.
Post-Scripts
I wasn’t sure about Mr. and Mrs. Smith early on, but by the end I loved the series and the actors. While we don’t yet know if there will be a season two, I’m wondering if it will be a White Lotus situation where we have a new cast every season? If so, could we get Jason Bateman and Scarlett Johansson involved? Or Melissa McCarthy and Matthew McConaughey? How about O-T Fagbenle (so dreamy) and January Jones? I could do this all day.
Butter Lamb HQ?! - my favorite newsletter of the week.
Never Not Shopping
Are you shopping the The Palm Royale Edit on TRR? There’s no need to spend that much. As a Palm Beach native (ahem, the county not the city), I have a deep collection of vintage Lilly P as well as 70’s caftans. I love shopping at Canned Ham Vintage. for these styles. Fair pricing and excellent customer service.
I really love the Hunter Bell x Sveti Stefan spring collection! Perfect shoes for spring weather when we are tired of loafers and ballerina flats (as if) but sandal season hasn’t yet arrived.
I’ve seen some swimwear posts popping up; I still stand by my My Hipster Swim Collection.
I was today old when I realized I needed a silver pencil skirt. I’m picturing myself wearing it with a conservative top and heels for a big work presentation.
Thanks for reading!
XOXO,
Tara
L I V I N G for mom. Gratefully, R 😘